Your Miserly, Mooching Roommate: Know When to End the Lease

Good roommates are hard to find.  When you have one, you stick it out, make it work!  But when you are finding yourself increasingly stressed just being in that person’s presence it’s time to reconsider renewing the lease with a mooch.

A mooch is someone who begs, borrows, and steals things that doesn’t belong to him or her.  A person like this is also miserly, selfish, and may even have his or her share of personality disorders.  With a roommate like this, you are often stressed, worried that the mooch will once again help his or herself to your stuff, and when disputes do occur you are angrier than most people having similar arguments.  You are simply tired of having to instruct this selfish person, watch his or her hands, hide your items, question about missing things, ask for money borrowed back, and more. 

The stingy mooch systematically does things to avoid paying for items while cutting down on current expenses he or she may have once agreed to pay but doesn’t like or want to continue to pay.  The excuses are endless as to why certain things are not bought or maintained.  Here is a list of some shady practices many selfish roommates do:

1)  They lie about how much they paid for something while hoping you don’t use too much of it.

2)  They cut costs most often without warning and you find out the hard way that they are no longer paying for certain services.

3)  They sit back and wait for others to pay for items and then they will begin to use them.

4)  They will make false claims about not having any money to assist with expenses especially those that they don’t believe are important.

5)  They will make small purchases that solely benefit them.

6)  They will act as if what minute contributions they make to the household are worth acknowledging and when one doesn’t, they behave immaturely even vengeful.

7)  They won’t financially assist when the going gets rough and will ignore your please for help.

Miserly roommates’ objective is to find various ways to use your money for as long as they can while they pocket the majority of theirs.  When you notice that you are being taken advantage of and you speak to your roommate about it, he or she will not appreciate your feedback.  This is when he or she will start to behave abusively.  Some things that they will do to financially abuse you:

1)  Steal your financial information.

2)  If you should lose your job, he or she will act very mean and controlling while reminding you that they “…paid for this…or that...”

3)  He or she will name-call and tell you how you are “Stupid, irresponsible, ignorant…when it comes to making/saving money.  No wonder you are always broke!”

4)  He or she will buy enjoyable items for self and purposely leave you out.

Photo by KaLisa Veer on Unsplash

5)  You will notice that most purchases are small inside and are not meant to be shared with others.

I have come across my share of cheap roommates who didn’t appreciate having to pay the majority of the bills.  However, I didn’t make no where near what they did so what sense did it make to take care of all expenses?  The twisted mindset of selfish people with personality disorders is a “Do for me…”  When they can’t accomplish using you in the way that they would like, this is when  they resort to abusing you.

If you have a history with a roommate that has included any of the following: threatening behaviors, hitting, kicking, breaking up your belongings, stealing your identity or credit cards, do not plan to sign a future lease with him or her.  Make plans to move on without this not only financially abusive person, but physically abusive as well.

Nicholl McGuire

Dreams of Moving Out of a Shared Residence? Be Prepared for What Might Be Ahead

So you just can't stand living with someone any longer?  Hopefully your name isn't on the lease, but if it is, you just might have to remain at the dwelling until the lease is up or live elsewhere.  Whatever you might choose, be sure you give the landlord a sixty-day notice.  Let he or she know you have no plans of remaining in the unit and do not want to renew your lease with the individual.

If you should avoid handling your desire to leave in a professional manner, you run the risk of ruining your credit if you should bail out without notice.  You will also make matters worse for you if you skip out without letting your roommate(s) know and leave a partner or others with your portion of the rent.

You can make your dream of moving a reality if there has been domestic violence.  File a restraining order or protection from abuse with your local police department.  Share a copy of the notice with your landlord and let him or her know you have been advised to leave the residence.  Explain to them you don't want to draw anymore negative attention to the community as a result and if he or she could begin looking for other potential renters.  The landlord might work with you depending on how bad your situation and whether or not you were a good resident.  The landlord might work with your roommate since you no longer want to be on the lease.  Whatever you do, don't return because the next time it won't be so easy to be let out of the lease.

Plan to save money if you really want to move and if you can obtain additional income streams to help with the rent, utilities, and more.  For your new place, you will need a security deposit, first and possibly second month's rent depending on your credit score and other factors.  You might still need a co-signer if your credit is poor, you don't have sufficient credit history or other challenges.  Check your credit before you go apartment shopping and obtain a copy if need be.  Most property companies will perform their own background and credit checks and also private landlords, but it can be helpful to have your information readily available along with a check or money order to hold the place.

Now if you plan on taking items out of the shared residence that you didn't pay for or can't prove that you own, don't be surprised if your roommate(s) might sue you in the future long after you have left.  Other things to consider:

1)  Your friendship might come to a swift end because you are no longer helping.
2)  Someone who you think you know well might be triggered emotionally due to your absence and may stalk you or obsess about you living with him or her again.
3)  Your credit might be negatively impacted by a scorned roommate if he or she has been using your credit cards or has access to your banking information.
4)  People in support of your roommate might treat you rudely depending on what he or she has said to them about you.
5)  If you don't safeguard or obtain everything you care about much before you announce your move, you might not see those things ever again.  So be discreet and remove all important things out beforehand.
6)  You may have to involve law enforcement if a partner/roommate is acting threatening or has become violent with you.
7)  You might find yourself moving sooner rather than later based on how difficult your partner/friend is behaving.

So think about who might help you get a new place if you can't do it on your own and don't even consider your scorned roommate unless you want similar problems in the future.  If you are having a tough time with a partner or others living in the dwelling, whatever you do don't leave your future location you plan to move within view.  Erase internet history and put away rental catalogs.  You don't need your old problems following you to your new residence.

Stay positive during this tough time and continue to online and offline apartment window shop until you are ready to make the move.  Think of the amenities you will enjoy in the future, what you might buy to decorate your new place, and other things that make you happy.  Envision yourself in your new residence without those you no longer want to live with and take a deep sigh knowing that peace won't be long now!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of What Else Can I Do on the Internet?

Nothing Like Your Own Place...

You know it's time to say goodbye to roommates when...

1.  You are having a tough time collecting rent from them or vice versa.

2.  You are tired of reminding, warning and fighting about your stuff.

3.  You no longer like sharing a space.

4.  You have a strong desire to be in the nude whenever you feel like it.

5.  You resent when your roommates bring guests over including parents.

6.  You seriously can't stand to smell someone else's food, body odor, scented fragrance, etc.

7.  You have frequent visions of a future that doesn't include your roommates.

We Know You Like the Place But What About...

As a former manager who has shown potential renters around various apartment buildings and suites over the years, I can tell you that oftentimes men and women are apartment shopping without their significant other and/or roommates.  This can be frustrating for all parties involved, because a prospective renter: hasn't consulted with others about their interests, don't know if partner/roommates can afford to help with the rent, are unsure whether or not person(s) want to live with he/she, and aren't exactly sold on the location, building, or suite themselves.

Sometimes people are in the process of relocating from another state, are tied up with jobs, children, etc. so they can't always come with the one who is scouting out the places, but at some point the wife back east or the cousin or friend up north is going to have to make the time to come along--that is if the apartment shopper is willing. 

Excuses as to why apartment shoppers don't tell their roommates about the place they plan on leasing range from: my wife is picky to "I don't know if I want him living with me."  Wouldn't it make sense to get your issues out of the way before looking for an apartment?

What usually happens when the apartment shopper acts deceitful, stubborn, selfish, or rude about his or her purchase: he comes up short with the rent, the partner doesn't like the place and doesn't move in, he/she complains frequently about the building or suite to management, arguing amongst roommates or couples increases, and neighbors complain about "those new people who just moved in apartment A...."

If you are going to apartment shop, save yourself some future grief, know what all parties want in advance and be sure everyone agrees with everything before move in.  Also, bring all the money that is owed to the leasing office BEFORE lease signing.  Keep in mind, if you can't pay, you can't stay!

Nicholl McGuire

Respecting the House Rules

When moving into an apartment, you will find that the management is not always carefree when it comes to disturbances in a complex. Oftentimes the violator is not the person who lives in the apartment, but usually mangement finds that it is the guests who are putting the resident's stay at risk. Sometimes people need a refresher on how to act when staying with someone. The following is an article that does just that,

Seven Tips on How to Act When Staying at Someone

Keep in mind, most leasing contracts do have something written about visitors. Overnight guests are usually allowed to stay for a limited time, but after the timeframe in the contract, they are considered residents. If management notices that your guest is living in the suite, he or she will ask you to come into the leasing office and put that person on your contract. If you should refuse, you may have your rights to the unit revoked. Meaning, you will be given a warning to adhere to the current policy or forfeit your right to occupy. If you still don't comply, the property management company can evict you. This will affect your credit and rental history.

Also, if the person, who has been living with you, is over the age of 18, you will need to undergo a background check like you did when you first applied for the apartment. If it is found that this person has a criminal history, then it will be up to the property manager to decide whether he or she can live on the property.

Allowing people to live in your apartment without permission can open a pandora's box of problems! If you don't plan on having them on your leasing contract, don't allow them to live with you.